The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult important link to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically click to read justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who you could try here works primarily with gay males, says that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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